The best laid plans
I’m a planner and have been one all my life. I can’t imagine a day when I’m not thinking ahead, within the day itself, for the next day, or for the future, distant though it may be. I’ve spent most of my career in the planning area, given scores of talks on the merits of planning, coached multiple people on planning their future and led workshops for leaders on strategic planning. It’s who I am.
In fact, I plan so far into the future, that when my doctor recommended that I should schedule time for exercise, I immediately went to my very forward-thinking, multi-year calendar and blocked off 10 to 10:15 am on November 4, 2028.
Seriously, though, while I think ahead and plan, I also tend not to dwell on the past, unless there are happy memories or lessons that I want to re-live. A personal motto is “Don’t dwell on the past. Use today to plan what tomorrow, and many more tomorrows, can bring”. Living in the past and dwelling on negative experiences can cloud your judgement and taint your future.
My husband is different. He gives new meaning to the phrase “live in the moment”. Never dwelling in the past, he never dwells on the future either. “Right here, right now”, is his motto. I walked into the living room, where he was engaged in an enticing game of “find the fluff”, as he wielded a broom at an curious angle, trying valiantly to retrieve a bit of fluff that had motored itself under the couch. “We need to plan for the July event”, I chirruped, merrily, forgetting that two months ahead is much too distant for my husband to even contemplate, let alone plan tasks and deliverables, no matter what the event may be. He looked at me incredulously. “You’re planning that NOW? Why? There are at least 6 weeks to go!”, he grumbled. “We have at least 827 other things to do before then”.
With that, he swooped and scooped the offending fluff and loped away, broom held aloft, trotting jauntily to the kitchen while singing “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay” at a decibel level that I worried may prompt noise complaints from our neighbours. I followed him, not prepared to lose my train of thought.
With a magician-inspired flourish, he extracted two tickets from his pocket. “Let’s go have fun!”, he exclaimed triumphantly. “I got us tickets to a concert you’ll love, and it’s tonight”. After squealing delightedly, I acknowledged, albeit with some effort, “Who cares about 6 weeks from now? There’s always tomorrow…”. (A monumental feat for me).
My husband gets his moment, and I happily share it. Tomorrow I can restart the conversation about planning for July.
Over decades of being with this man, I’ve realized that sometimes planning is overrated, and spontaneity reigns supreme. If one can stand the lack of strategizing, projecting and forethought!
Email me: bernadette@gogettercoaching.com .