Receiving Feedback
Receiving constructive feedback can be one of the most valuable ways to learn and grow. How we accept feedback and use it is a choice we make.
It’s natural to be taken aback when feedback is given, whether face-to-face or not. Reactions like immediate outrage, placing judgements, and general close-mindedness are common. However, those reactions, if harboured, result in rejection of what may be a fantastic opportunity for self-improvement. Most of the time, these reactions stem from insecurity. If we acknowledge that we’re always growing, wanting to be better versions of ourselves, then we welcome comments or reactions, favourable or not.
Feedback-induced resentment hampers our capacity to grow and learn. It limits our ability to make positive changes. It constrains our openness to seeking new friendships and refining our family and social lives.
Many leaders claim to seek feedback, offering “open-door” policies, suggestion boxes, and town halls for people to voice their opinions. Only a good leader will listen, absorb and accept feedback graciously, and then do something to improve themselves, even reporting back to their staff how they’ve made personal improvements. Watch for such leaders, they’re usually great mentors.
We can turn stings into strengths by opening our minds and overcoming insecurity. Instead of building a mental wall of excuses that spring from the brain’s amygdala, we can shift from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. When our brain perceives feedback as a threat to our self-image, we automatically feel resentful. If we consider ourselves to be perfect, any feedback suggesting otherwise feels like a blow.
Most people offer feedback because they want us to succeed, not because they want to hurt us. This is especially true when feedback comes from loved ones or a trusted colleague. Even if the delivery is clumsy, we should look for the “ladder” in their words, the part that helps us grow.
The most successful people aren’t those who think they’re flawless; they’re the ones who seek feedback because they know it’s the fastest route to mastery. When we stop seeing feedback as an attack, we unlock 1) self-awareness, 2) better and stronger relationships, and 3) resilience. That is personal growth.
People respect those who can take comments with grace and maturity. Each time we accept feedback with grace, we strengthen our emotional core.
Here’s the takeaway: Don’t let insecurity shrink your potential. Whenever you receive feedback that stings, go from bitter to better: don’t focus on being “right”, but keep growth in sight.
Email me: bernadette@gogettercoaching.com .